She closed her eyes tightly to keep from crying. How to hold back tears? Psychologists' advice
We have all been in a situation where tears come, regardless of our desire, and it seems that there is nothing we can do to stop them. The breath deepens, the heart drops, and water begins to flow generously from the eyes. But no matter why you suddenly feel like crying, sometimes it's just not the right time to do it. Here are some tips on how you can try to hold back your tears.
Difficulty: not easy.
1. Pinch your inner thigh. If you are standing, do the same with your arm. By inflicting instant pain on especially sensitive - usually protected - areas, you give the brain a sharp and strong shake, then the focus shifts to pain in the body - it is almost the same as restarting the computer or clearing the buffer. Pain in the body is always paramount for the brain, so you are much more likely to focus on the pain point than on the cause of the tears. Just don't pinch yourself hard enough to bruise or cause tears from the pain!
2. Remove your consciousness from the situation. In fact, the brain performs this task very easily, because it is “programmed” by nature for this. Surely you have heard more than once about selective amnesia, when a person stops remembering the details of an event that is terrible for him. This is something like this reaction: you seem to start looking down on your emotions and experiences, from the position of a cold and indifferent mind, which is only concerned about the practical side of the issue, and even then, only to some extent. It takes a little practice - and you will learn it quickly enough. Usually it starts to turn out from about the 3-5th time. But do not overdo it here either: learn to turn off this state, otherwise you can eventually stop feeling something at all.
3. Remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes you need to cry, because what has accumulated simply will not find another way out - and no physical exercises, alcohol, or anything else will help. If you just can't do it in front of a given group of people, carefully and quickly exit the current situation and hold back your tears only until you find a place that is private enough.
You may realize that you supposedly forgot to do something that needs to be done at the moment, pass something to someone, make a phone call, etc.
4. Hold your breath. The phrase "stifling tears" exists for a reason. If you focus on your breathing (it's one of the ways that the brain is rushed through the body, analogous to pain), you can literally stop the tears before they come. Take this moment to forcefully control your emotions while you hold your breath. But be careful not to take too sharp a breath later, and make sure you really control yourself.
5. Bite your bottom lip. This is another trade-in trick that allows you to refocus your body's attention. As with the pinch, be careful not to leave marks, and first try to do it in a calm situation, because the impact is painful, and you can also easily bite your lip.
6. Let the ferocious cry unleash. Crying is the release of emotions in physical form. One way to release all those negative emotions is to shout out loud. Excuse yourself, go out and find a secluded place. Use a pillow, scarf or hat, tight sleeve, or similar to muffle the sound. You will feel much better. Moreover, being angry is much better than crying - the first not only frees, but also gives strength.
7. Start laughing. Just try not to be hysterical about it. And so, in principle, laughter holds back tears very well: joy is the exact opposite of sadness. Focus on the opportunity to release this sadness - but in a different form, then the tears will not appear. Just remember that this is not always the right action for the moment.
8. Practice well in advance by forcing yourself to think of something that is guaranteed to distract you from the situation. Alternatively, it can be not only strong emotions, but also something that will make you concentrate: like planning something, or some kind of task (just don't choose something dull that you will be too lazy to think about). Try to solve several problems in your head at once, or mentally remember your favorite (not sad, and not “inspiring”) song or poem.
9. A method that helps less often, but still great for people who know how to concentrate on anything on order: find some object - a tree in the distance in the background or even a brooch on the interlocutor - and start studying in the most intent way him in detail. Just don't look directly into the face of someone who might make you cry. This way you can relax and unwind a little.
10. Pick up a mirror. This advice is only for girls, but it usually works 10 out of 10. Pretend that you need to fix your makeup: often, all you have to do is look at your face and it instantly “sobers you up” - again a kind of shock therapy, clearing the “buffer” . And again, use these few seconds to pull yourself together.
Addition: you should never be ashamed of your emotions; so if you need to cry, cry.
Unfortunately, there are many reasons for tears, especially in women. There are times when crying is not even a sin at all, but on the contrary, it is an emotional release. But it happens when tears, especially in front of others, cause aggression or can simply harm the cause. How to learn to hold back tears in such situations and learn not to cry when you really want to?
How to hold back tears when you want to cry
Tears, as a rule, appear when the body experiences a strong emotional shock caused by external stimuli. In this case, the first thing to do is to switch your attention.
For example, the threat of danger that induces action, distracts a person from self-pity and mobilizes forces for protection. What needs to be done to quickly cause such a reaction?
To hold back tears, pinch yourself discreetly, bite your lip or tongue. Pain will instantly return you, as they say, to the ground and you won’t want to cry. Just do not overdo it, so as not to harm your health and not to frighten those around you with blood flowing down your chin.
Another way to learn not to cry in a difficult situation is to breathe evenly, deeply through your nose. As soon as tears roll in, take a deep breath through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth. Such breathing exercises are used by yogis, psychologists and anyone who wants to achieve calm and harmony or learn to restrain anger and tears.
The method of switching attention is also very effective. At the moment when you want to cry, think about something completely extraneous or start looking at the objects around you to the smallest detail. To hold back tears, you can also count to ten or twenty, remember the words of a song or poem, and finally, you can read a prayer.
How to learn to hold back tears if there are people who are capable of sympathy and you are sure that they will feel sorry for you? Very simple, try not to get distracted by them. Because just looking at the expression on the face of such a person will not leave a single chance to hold back tears.
And despite the various situations, do not forget that tears are an important element in a person's life, which is both psychological and physiological. Tears are able to remove toxic substances from the body and relieve emotional stress.
Moreover, if you are an impressionable and prone to melancholy person, you should not hold back crying. At least, having adequately coped with the situation, retire and pay off everything that has accumulated.
How to hold back tears when you really want to cry
Every morning, standing in front of the mirror and looking into your eyes, repeat that you are strong, smart, that you are really the best, that you are not afraid of anything and no one, you will be able to overcome absolutely all life's obstacles.
You will be able to endure any suffering, no one will break your will and will not force you to bow before anyone else. Thus, you will inspire aspiration and confidence in yourself, become more firm, and no tears and sobs will overpower you, you will be able to look at yourself from a different perspective and draw certain conclusions.
However, every medal has a downside. As already mentioned, crying is a surge of emotions, and emotions need to be given free rein from time to time, in other words, “let off steam”.
In case of urgent need, when you cannot understand what to do, if you want to cry, it is better to retire, cry alone or turn to a loved one who will listen to you and treat you with understanding. Speak out, share your impressions, ask for advice. If you cry out all the tears, it will become much easier.
Why does a person's eyes water
Possible damage or speck
If your eyes water uncontrollably and this is not associated with any emotional experiences, you should carefully examine the mucous membrane. Perhaps there is damage or a mote on it, which does not cause a feeling of the presence of something foreign, but the eyes are watery. Try rinsing your eyes with cool water, if the tearing does not go away, consult an ophthalmologist.
Inflammation
Tearing is sometimes the cause of inflammation in the eyes. Bacterial, viral, fungal and other infections are accompanied by lacrimation. In this case, you should immediately contact an ophthalmologist who will prescribe eye drops containing antibiotics. It is not recommended to use such drops on your own.
Allergy
How to stop tears if they are caused by an allergic reaction. Here you should, as in the previous paragraph, either consult a doctor (if this is the first time), or take an anti-allergic medicine on time.
Tears from onions
To learn not to cry when cutting onions, you must first moisten the knife and onion with cool water. The substance that causes tears dissolves in water and does not get into the air, preventing tearing.
Tearfulness with tired eyes
Increased tearfulness with eye fatigue is removed by compresses from tea leaves. Soak cotton swabs in tea leaves and apply to your eyes for fifteen to twenty minutes before going to bed. This procedure also helps with a slight inflammatory process.
emotional tears
It is difficult to stop tears caused by emotional experiences. If something serious has happened and tears tearing out are practically choking, you should not hold them back, cry and let the negativity out. If we are talking about resentment, insult or other conflict, in order to hold back tears, try to abruptly switch your thoughts and remember something good. These manipulations will distract you from what is happening and you will be able to contain the impulse of emotions.
What to do if you want to cry, but you can't
We are all very different, and react differently to events taking place in the world around us. Some are almost indifferent to everything, while others immediately burst into tears when any stressful situation arises. Meanwhile, crying in front of friends, colleagues or strangers is always unpleasant. So how to hold back tears in a situation where it is highly undesirable to show them to interlocutors?
To hold back tears, discreetly pinch your inner thigh or other particularly sensitive skin area. Pain is always of paramount importance for the brain, which means that this trick will help you easily isolate yourself from the cause of tears. The main thing is not to overdo it, and not cause an attack of tears provoked by pain.
To hold back tears, take yourself out of the situation: realize that you supposedly forgot about this or that important and urgent matter and hurriedly leave.
Try to hold your breath for a while. By concentrating on it, you can easily stop the attack of tears and take your emotions under tight control.
Bite your lower lip. This trick is somewhat similar to the first proposed method, and is aimed at “deceiving” the body, refocusing its attention on pain. The main thing is not to leave marks on the lip and not bite through it until it bleeds.
Think in advance what thoughts can distract you from the current situation at a critical moment. Alternatively, it can be memories of a particular pleasant, positive event, or attempts to solve pressing, topical everyday problems. To hold back tears, try to solve several problems at the same time or try to mentally recite your favorite poem, sing lines from your favorite song, remember the multiplication table.
If you have the opportunity, then make a few sharp, intense movements.
Concentrate your attention on a particular object that is in the distance, and begin to study it in the most thorough way. The main thing is not to look in the face of a person who can make you cry. If it is difficult to avoid a direct look at him, then try to mentally laugh at him. Recall the offender's ridiculous habits or imagine him dressed in a ridiculous clown costume.
Now you know how to hold back tears in the right situation. However, do not use the above techniques all the time: psychologists say that tears are the best way of psychological relaxation and physiological protection from stress.
How to learn not to cry if you really want to
We are all very different. And we react differently to everything around us. From some it is impossible to knock out tears, while others, just a little - immediately into tears. Both of these have their downsides. Crying for any reason, and even in front of strangers, employees, friends, is quite unpleasant.
On the other hand, it is impossible to experience all the problems “dry”, as this can lead to mental stress and poor health. Let's try to figure out how to learn to hold back tears.
Often crying people sometimes find themselves in awkward situations when tears begin to run like a river, and even at the wrong moment. For example, the boss shouted, the teacher made a strict remark at the lesson, they were rude in transport.
And now a lump rolls up in their throats, their voice trembles treacherously, tears roll into their eyes. But you don’t want to cry and show your weakness in front of strangers! But tears don't care about that, they flow on their own. From this it becomes even more offensive and you want to burst into tears.
- You should drink as much water as possible in large sips;
- Take 10 deep breaths and breaths;
- If possible, make several intense sharp movements;
- Switch stress from psychological to physical. Use this method: pinch yourself, bite your tongue, pull your hair. Usually this method allows you to quickly recover;
- Start mentally remembering the multiplication table, phone numbers, etc.;
- If the tears are caused by someone in particular, put him in your imagination in some funny costume, or imagine him as a gray mouse with huge ears or as a toad with huge slanting eyes.
These are very effective ways to hold back tears in the right situation. But do not try to completely stop crying, as psychologists say that sometimes crying is even good.
Tears are a kind of psychological release and a physiological defense against stress. Therefore, you do not need to hold back tears all the time. You can feel free to cry while watching a sad movie, or a tragic story on the news.
Even if we quietly let out a small tear, this is considered a small, but necessary discharge. But when we cry very hard, we take active deep breaths and exhalations. Thanks to this, we throw off all the negativity at the level of physiology. If this does not happen, we will create psychopathic clamps that lead to radiculitis and osteochondrosis.
There are many situations in which people try to hold back tears - for example, in an exam or a job interview.
Or at a meeting with the authorities, having heard rude criticism addressed to him. Or at school, getting an unfair C in algebra. Or after a fight, when crying from pain and humiliation is simply embarrassing.
How to stop crying when you're sad
Great grief becomes the cause of endless tear streams. After the death of a relative or a break with a loved one, it can be difficult to stop moaning.
Tears cleanse, allow you to throw out emotions that are bursting over the edge - that's right. Therefore, psychologists advise you to cry properly in a difficult situation for you.
But after a day or two, it is important to regain control over the senses and the lacrimal glands.
Strong hysterical crying day and night can lead to serious stress for the body, a nervous breakdown and prolonged depression. 
And when you need the strength to stop and stop crying, they will no longer be.
At this moment, it is important to change the vector, get distracted, find the energy in yourself to leave the house, go to the cinema or cafe, meet friends.
Any public place will become a deterrent: not everyone wants to cry in public.
Order yourself a soothing tea, watch the pedestrians. Watch a funny movie or an exciting series, listen to music, dance.
While your brain is busy contemplating and coordinating movements, it forgets about experiences.
Try to spend more time in the company of conversations: Don't talk, just watch and listen.
The more your feelings are occupied, the more productive the "therapy" will be. You can, for example, fiddle with a napkin or draw in a notebook to also include touch.
Bitter tears and positive thinking
Often the culprit of tears over trifles is a disturbed hormonal background.
If you are crying with or without reason, you should contact an endocrinologist, check the thyroid gland and donate blood for “especially nervous” hormones.
A corrective course of vitamins and pills will save you from the problem that you suffered from in school.
Learning not to cry when you're upset isn't easy. After all, this is an instinctive reaction of the body, which is difficult to train. Tears themselves flow, giving vent to pain, resentment and other negative emotions.
What is important is control not over the body, but over your thoughts. If you see everything in black, then crying becomes a frequent companion in life.
A positive mindset can help you deal with tantrums. In every loss, look for an opportunity. Have you been fired? It's okay, this is a chance to look for the place of your dreams.
Dumped boyfriend? But reproach yourself, do not imagine that now life is over, because it has only just begun.
First dates, languid glances, furtive kisses - you have been given the opportunity to go through this path first, with a more suitable person.
How to hold back tears and not burst into tears
Sometimes tears become traitors and arise in the most awkward situation. They seem to specifically demonstrate to others that you are not an alpha male or female at all, but an ordinary loser and crybaby.
What to do so as not to burst into tears at the wrong time:
1. Breathing exercises help to calm down and hold back tears. If you feel like you're about to burst into tears, take a very deep breath through your nose.
Exhale slowly, pause, and slowly, consciously inhale again. Play for a minute in "breathe - do not breathe." You should think only about the breath, and not about the annoying factor or hurtful words.
Taking deep breaths slows your heart rate, relieves tension, and relieves the hyperventilation problem that often occurs with tantrums.
2. Change your posture, stand up, straighten your shoulders, take a sip of cold water, pinch yourself, bite your lip. These physiological distraction methods are very effective.
Ask to leave the office - go wash yourself, eat a chocolate bar or a handful of nuts, drink sweet tea.
3. Focus on a super-nice look. You can think about the upcoming vacation: draw a picture in front of your eyes where you are basking in a sun lounger under a palm tree.
Think about your beloved child - I wonder how he was there at school, has he already defended the project that you did together all night? Come up with a romantic dinner that you cook on Sunday for your spouse.
4. Imagine a funny situation, which your offender could get into. For example, your boss is crucifying you.
Mentally undress him to his underpants (let it be very humiliating “heart-to-heart” family members) and make him dance the lambada. Believe me, instead of tears, only an insidious smirk will appear on your face.
5. Let your emotions out at the wrong time so they don't accumulate.
Intimate conversations with friends, an unequal fight with a punching bag, running around a beautiful lake in the morning, intensive cardio in the gym help to relieve tension.
Also good are meditation on morning coffee, massage sessions with a good relaxation specialist.
If you have a stressful job that brings you to tears every now and then, you should devote more time to relaxation. 
6. To give vent to feelings and not get hung up on situations, put them on paper when you get home.. You can start a whole diary for a bad mood.
Write what exactly hurt you, why this is a sore subject for you, how much you are worried.
Describe your emotions as precisely as possible: “I am very angry with Petr Ivanovich, I am depressed and feel powerless, I am annoyed by my low position, I am afraid to show everyone my weakness.”
And then close the diary and go for a walk.
If the situation that makes you cry has dragged on, remember the words of the wise Solomon. Everything goes and it is also.
We all have to laugh in another, adult and serious life, how we sobbed over the deuce in the diary and could not hold back tears when we saw our beloved high school student with a beautiful girl.
But we survived it, which means that everything else will be on the shoulder.
Tears are a natural reaction to trouble, grief or stress, but most people prefer not to show them to others. It is not easy to hold back when resentment or anger rolls over. In this article, we have collected psychological techniques that will help you not cry when you really want to. After reading our material, you will learn to control yourself!
How not to cry when you really want - exercise
Psychologists advise to concentrate on breathing in moments of emotional excitement. You may have noticed that when you feel like crying out of resentment, your breathing gets confused and accelerated, and in moments of severe stress or fear, you even stop getting enough air for a while. To calm yourself, you need to calm your breathing. Do you feel like you're about to burst into tears? Raise your chin and take a few deep breaths in through your nose, exhaling through your mouth. Thus, you can get rid of the so-called lump in the throat. Try to count your breathing movements, imagine how the air fills your lungs. An unpleasant lump in the throat will help to remove a couple of sips of water or cool tea. If there is no liquid nearby: swallow several times. And don't forget about breathing.
If tears are already in your eyes, blink them away. You should not wipe your eyes indicatively, what good else will you rub your cosmetics! Look down, then lift your eyes up, look right and left. Repeat this exercise several times until the tears are gone. Some psychologists advise to close your eyes for a few seconds.
You can also distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts by performing certain physical actions. You can, for example, bite your lip or clench your fist. But, remember that you should not feel pain, only a slight discomfort that can draw your attention to yourself. If there is a person nearby whom you trust, or someone who is aware of your psychological state, his palm can become your support.
Yawning, by the way, also helps to calm down! In addition, you definitely won’t be able to cry and yawn at the same time! Physical exercise is very effective and will benefit your nervous system!
How not to cry at the wrong moment - psychological exercises
In order not to cry at the wrong moment, think of something that will take all your attention. How about solving a math problem in your head or repeating the multiplication table? Not only will you concentrate on it, but also make the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for computational operations, work. Emotions - controls the right; by stimulating the work of both hemispheres of the brain, you can effectively block the emotional flow. If math isn't your forte, remember the words to your favorite song, or even sing it to yourself. The melody should be cheerful, and the lyrics should be positive.
The second psychological technique is more complicated, but more effective. You need to remember something funny. Of course, focusing on something positive when tears come to your eyes is not an easy task. Psychologists advise in advance to come up with and remember a list of jokes from films or funny situations from your life that you will remember in moments of emotional experiences. Try to smile!
Motivate yourself not to cry! For example, "if I cry, the boss will think that I am weak" or "strangers will see that I do not know how to control myself." Tell yourself that you are strong and right now it is important to prove it!
Question to the psychologist:
Hello. My problem is very deep and I think that it cannot be solved by one answer to the question. But I ask for your help. I, being a conscientious person (20 years old), cannot adequately hide/suppress my tears. Eyes in a wet place - it's easy to say. I cry if they dare me, I can cry if someone said a word in my direction. If I argue, then the other side wins, if only for the reason that I cry, which means I lose. I cry even if they tell me compliments or tell some kind of life story with my role. Accordingly, I cry when watching a movie, series, when reading a book. I want to make a reservation right away that I grew up in a very favorable environment, they didn’t beat me and there was never a rude word in my direction. Vice versa. I grew up in greenhouse conditions. I can say I'm still a child. It annoys me that I can't deal with my emotions. I read a lot of advice, none of them help me. In the depths of my soul, I understand that I have some deviations in this regard, I recognize them and am ready to correct them. But I don't have the courage to go to a psychologist. I am also very shy, my circle of friends is closed, although I am a very open and kind person. Sometimes it seems that I am some kind of creature without a shell and without a shell. Whoever kicks or spits in my direction, I immediately react. I'm a very kind person, some people take advantage of it. I am weak. With the opposite sex, too, everything is not adequate, I accept everything with what mockery and never believe anything. I am studying to be a lawyer, I like my future profession, but I am afraid that I will not be able to restrain myself emotionally, and crying in court is not very somehow ... There was not mutual love, which I experienced for a long time. The boy knocked me out at school. In elementary school, I was not very popular, fat, no one was friends with me. In high school, she literally pulled out her already best friends with her teeth. I don’t love myself either, and so much that I don’t look in the mirror once again. And I constantly feel sorry for myself, everything is layered one after another like a snowball. Help at least try to get out.
The psychologist Rozvadovskaya Irina Eduardovna answers the question.
Hello Olga!
On the one hand, tears are good. When a person cries, internal clamps are removed, calmness comes.
But if tears appear for any reason, then, of course, this complicates life. Especially if you want to become a lawyer. This profession in itself suggests somewhat other qualities than sentimentality and gentleness of character.
Perhaps the first thing that needs to be excluded is any diseases and deviations in health. This requires a complete examination. You can go to your therapist and get a referral for an examination of the body. It's not difficult after all. Because increased tearfulness may be the result of a hormonal disorder or a nervous disorder. To do this, also consult with an endocrinologist and a neurologist. There is nothing wrong with such an examination. Treat it simply as taking care of your health. If you do not want to go to your clinic, you can be examined at any diagnostic center.
If the hormonal background is normal and health deviations are not detected, then this is a very good result.
Then only visit to the psychologist or the psychotherapist. You yourself reasonably argue that it is impossible to understand the cause of your disorder from a distance. Long-term individual work is needed. Because the reason can lie very deep - in the school years, in adolescence, etc.
For starters, you yourself can try to remember this time. Have you always been this vulnerable?
Lie down, relax, close your eyes, try not to disturb anyone, and plunge into the memories of your childhood. When you hit a little girl, you also often cried. If not, when did it start? With what, and maybe with whom it is connected. If you manage to remember the root cause, then it will be much easier to work with it.
Train your character, increase self-esteem. How to do this - there is a lot of material on the Internet. Plan your day, set small tasks that you can accomplish, and praise yourself for your progress. Start keeping a diary of your successes and accomplishments. Include mandatory outdoor walks for at least 15-30 minutes in your daily plan, then increase the time. Take a contrast shower. This strengthens the blood vessels and the nervous system well, just first look on the Internet how to do it correctly so as not to get sick right away. I wish you health and success!
